Brooklyn employs every trick in the book to avoid going to sleep at night, and when those tricks don't work, she creates her own tricks to add to the book. The other night after 'lights out' Brooklyn asked if I would stay and talk with her for a couple of minutes. I obliged, and eventually we got to talking about some of my experiences in college. The kid is good, and somehow knows how much I like to reminisce about those days. Anyhow, further down the conversation I asked Brooklyn, "Where do you think you'll want to go to college when you're older?" Her quick response was, "BYU". As pleased as I was with her response, I couldn't help but notice a look of confusion come across Brooklyn's face as she followed with, "Wait a minute. Do you mean I get to choose?"
We then discussed how, outside of college, she'll never be allowed to live outside our house. Brooklyn wasn't buying that, telling me that eventually she'll get married and have her own house. Thankfully, she continued, "But don't worry Dad, I'll get a house in the same neighborhood, maybe just down the street."
So over dinner Brooklyn slipped and used the word 'butt'. She caught herself and changed quickly to 'bum', knowing that we don't use 'butt' in our house. But the whole line of conversation triggered a conversation she had at school earlier in the day. Brooklyn then chimes in, "a boy at school tried to convince me that 'sh*%' is a bad word. I told him that 'sh*%' is not a bad word. 'Sh*%' isn't a bad word is it, Dad?" By this time my 7-year old daughter had dropped the 'S' bomb 3 times before I picked my jaw up off the table and could recover with a response. I told her the 'S' word was an extremely bad word that should never be used by anybody. Brooklyn, now shocked, quickly retorted, "then why when we're talking about the breed of dog, to we say Sh*% Zhu? A logical question that deserved a logical answer. It was then when we had to break down the spelling and correct pronunciation of the breed of dog vs. the spelling of profanity. Just not a conversation I was anticipating for at least another few years. Whew!
As I stand at the sink washing dishes, I can't help but engage in some old-fashioned self-loathing and yet, at the same time, marvel at the genius of Pampered Chef. You see, I'm a not so proud owner of a cutting board cover. 'What on earth is that?' you ask? Well I'll tell you. It's a decorative plastic cover to put over your cutting board so as to protect the cutting board from being...well...cut upon. I used to mock my neighbors for possessing such an obviously unnecessary accessory. Now all I can do is resurrect this blog and absolve myself of the shame I feel each time I look at the thing by admitting to the world that I have been duped.
It's a phenomenal business innovation concept though. My goal now is to find other such seemingly ridiculous inventions and exploit the naive public. My list is short for now, but if you have other ideas I would be happy to put together some kind of joint venture (60/40 of course):
1. Teeth covers - the mouth guard already exists but this is much different. It's like a synthetic cover over your teeth such that they don't get worn down by that pesky twice daily brushing. I will sell in bulk for those that brush more frequently.
2. Grass covers - this one may take more science than others in that I would have to develop more a spray that covers the grass and protects it from being cut when the mower goes over it.
3. Sock covers - how many socks have you gone through in the past year? With my new sock covers, you can double the expected life of your favorite socks!
4. Pillow Case covers - save your nice bed-in-a-bag pillow cases from the wear and tear of your oily or flaky head by investing in the peace of mind that comes from a pillow case cover.
Let's keep these ideas between you and me for now, okay?
